it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
