oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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