i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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