i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
