If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
