dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
