i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
