I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize