there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
