I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize