I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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