Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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