i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You need Xanax blowdarts
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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