OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize