You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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