i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
