kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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