i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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