marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
