I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
