don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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