He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
