i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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