Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
