I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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