idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
someone get that fucking seahorse.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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