the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
