honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
