So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
one two three fourrrrnication!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
be right there i have to get my cape
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
