why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
