Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
