apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
