Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
