so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
