Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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