I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
