i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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