my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
