He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
