I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
