Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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