Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
