i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
