i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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