idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
