she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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