You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
