I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
sarcasm needs its own font
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
