if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Pooping to opera.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
