East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
