I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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