so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I pour the whiskey from now on
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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