My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
