is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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