I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
