Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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