i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
