yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
